Celebrating the caregiver

My husband has been an enormous support for me all through our marriage and particularly through my illness experience. I don’t think I tell him this enough. It is easy to become very focused on oneself when experiencing illness. At the risk of making this blog too much about my own writing, I decided to put this poem out there. It is  a reflection on what the caregiver role means and how little it is noticed. I hope that other works will offer this perspective as well. I would like to submit this for the book.

An Ode to a Caregiver

In the world of illness

the patient is the star,

with agents and  handlers,

groupies and entourages.

“Do you need some chicken soup? “

“You are so brave, so inspirational!”

“Tell me your every need, your every wish and I will fill it .”

The patient is the celebrity, allowed the luxury of focusing on themselves.

Encouraged to focus on themselves

But if the patient is the star

what is the caregiver?

Chief cook and bottle washer.

Launderer of dirty linen.

The one who cleans up the vomit.

The one who cheerfully brings endless cups of tea.

The one who carries the weight of financial worries.

The one who explains why mommy has lost all of her hair.

The one who responds to grumpy moods with a sympathetic “are you having a hard day? “

The one who worries sick about losing the love of their life.

The one who, no matter how much they love the patient, is always a bit of an outsider to the illness.

Where are their groupies?

Where are the reporters?

Where is the fanfare?

Leave the patient in anonymity for a while.

Cast your spotlights

on the quiet one in the background.

Celebrate him

Acknowledge her courage

Walk in his shoes a while

June, 2011


3 thoughts on “Celebrating the caregiver

  1. es says:

    Great Ode, Sam.
    The patient is a celebrity, you are right. Some patients would come for a session and even ask “Did it happen to me because I want to experience my husband’s love and attention?” The caregiver cannot be celebrated enough. He/she faces so many questions and problems alone… Ideally, I would find a counsellor, a group, or somebody skillful and neutral to support every caregiver in the world. “The one who worries sick about losing the love of their life” is so painful line.Thank you for your Ode.

  2. alice ducharme says:

    What I have is a very good friend who I can find at any place or time to help me go through the hardship and also bring my moral up so that I can face another day with laughter and and more strengt. and make me realize that life is precious.
    Also a family who will always be there to support and love you.
    Thank You for inspiring us with beautiful poems and gorgeous expression with words/.

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