There is a fatigue associated both with my illness and some of my medications that is completely different than just being tired from not sleeping. I feel sluggish, like I’m walking through deep mud. I fall asleep in the middle of gatherings of large groups.
At various times in my illness I’ve been very, very tired. This was a particularly challenging part of my experience. It meant letting go of what I thought I could and should be able to do. This letting go was/is probably one of the single most important things I have had to do as an amyloid patient.
My fatigue also affected the dynamic with my son. When he was little, he didn’t think I was much fun. I would just lie around like a beached whale and try and invent ways to get him to expend some of his energy. In addition, my fatigue has meant that I cannot commit to a regular job.
Fortunately, I’m less tired now than I have been in the past, although I do hit a wall now and then. This feeling of being tired and sluggish would be very interesting to explore in writing or art.
Then there is, of course the fatigue from looking after the patient and doing all of the housework and holding down a job. And the stress and fatigue of being overloaded with very sick cancer patients.
Anyone tired out there?