As most of you know, my strange illness has given me a belly that makes me look about seven months pregnant. After so many years I have been able to find the humour both in the queries and the responses I give to the queries. Sometimes I actually look forward to bizarre responses because they make such good stories. Belly-laugh Fridays is my chance to share these humorous tidbits with all of you. Enjoy.
For about five years I was on the infamous medication, thalidomide. I resisted taking what I viewed as an evil drug for a over a year after my doctor introduced the idea. Finally, I realized that it was necessary and gave in.
I remember taking the first pill and thinking that this moment would be forever marked as the first time thalidomide entered my body. I made much drama of it, but in the end it was very effective in helping control my illness for a number of years with very few apparent side effects.
Because of its checkered history I was required to take a very specific blood test each month. This scenario was not uncommon when new workers appeared at the blood lab:
“Number 8, up to the window please.”
“Hi, I’m here for a pregnancy test.”
The woman looks me up and down several times.
“Aaah…” She is stuck for words. Her mouth hanging open.
“Yes, really I’m here for a pregnancy test.”
“Okay, honey.” she says as if I need to be humoured.
If I’m in a good mood I explain in detail how I’m really not pregnant. Sometimes, though, I just let the technicians think that I’m a little self-deluded.